I feel great
I just peed on a car
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
