she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
