planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
