rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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