He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
