he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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