He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
