remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
