we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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