Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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