Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
