My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
