Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
