Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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