Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
