OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
