So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
