That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
