WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
