i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
