Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
