just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
