you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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