Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
