Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
