I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
