i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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