i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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