He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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