I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
