My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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