Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Acid is not a monday night drug
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
