just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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