She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
