i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
