okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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