At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
