please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you never un-have a 4some
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
