Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
