yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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