fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
