it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
