I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
