a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
