Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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