my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
