yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
