I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
