Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
