we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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