I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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